Hi SIDDHI !

  October - December 2020

i was too lucky to have you in my life. mhnje mla bilkul kadji nhoti tula gamvaychi....coz i was sure ki khi pn jhala you will be there with me. During that october - december phase....mi khup jast stressed feel karat hoto karan mjha bilkul abhyas nhota hot. online lectures attend karna sodla hota...karan exam jvd yet hote....ani abhyaas khich nhota jamat....ani mi jya goshtila itka dedication lavla hotaa (JEE exam)...te mla tevhach disun padat hota ki mjha sathi ha time failure asnar aheee.

Talking about my personal life, mjha tai sobat mjha april madhe bhayankar jhagda jhala hotaa...tevha pasn mi ticha sobat khup kami bolat hoto...eka gharat asun pn....and september madhe tai cha breakup jhala hota....ti mjhya room madhe ali hoti radat....tevha mla tichi condition bghun khup disturbed watat hota....mi ghabarlo hoto karan mi kontya mulila breakup jhalyavar itka tutatanna bghitlela...mi ghabarlo hoto relation madhe asaylaa...! and again worst...mjhya mothya aatya chi death jhali covid madhe...again bad time for my family....

tevha mi khup kami bolat hoto tujha sobat...tyacha reason he sarwa je tu vrr wachlass....!

tya kaadi tujha ha msg aalela. mla nhota smjht kai bolu tujha shi tevha.....mi kshitij sobat bollo...samidha sobat bollo...tevha tyanna sangitla....ki ho je hee bolat ahe te khara ahe....expect first line...! mi phkt kami bolat hoto.....mi tujhya sathi je feel karat aho ata pn te kadhich fade nhota jhala..

tevha samidha ni mhtll....ki bara ahe na jr 1-2 diwsa cha gap ni bolat ahat tumhi...tr kai problem ahe...siddhi samjhdar ahee...itka complicated nko kara. 

I dont remember mi tevha kai bollo hoto ki mla break hawa ahee vagere vagere mla kharach nhi athwat...karan mi tya vedes vegdya mentality madhee hoto.

ani tula aadhich watu lagla hota ki mjhe feelings fade hot ahet...ani tyaat ankhi add on.....

mla mhiti ahe tu khup v4 kartess,,,swataha scenarios create kartesss....pn bolun nhi dkhvt te....

January 2021

Next month first attempt JEE cha. mi tevha actual abhyas karna start kela...hota...!

tevha tula mi ardha gamavlach hota...tu mjha break la breakup consider kela hotaas...pn as always je tujha sobat hot hota te bolun nhoti dkhvt. Pn mjha kade phkt eka goshta hoti focus karaila ....je mhnje exam....! ani mla tujha sobat bolat pn rahaycha hota...and to balance everything mi tujha sobat madha madhat bolat hoto....pn tula mjha bolna  to get unloved sarkha watu lagla..ani he mla bilkul dhyanaat nhota yet....karan tevha mi pagal hoto....exam changli geli phije itka dhadpadat hoto....ki lakshat ch nhi aala ki i am loosing you . 

Feb 2021

may be 11th feb la aplyala clg madhe bolavla hota....tevha tula itkya months nantr bghun butterflies aalya hotya ...but dont know mi ka br effort nhi kelet tula bhetayla...tula v4la hota tu kuthe ahes msg karun pn tu var ch hotis ani mla late hot hota mhnun nighun gelo hoto ghari.

And then exam.........mjha first attempt itka kharab gelaaa  khupch mhnje khuppp jast kharab...

itka stress madhe hoto mi....itka tension ani next attempt 15 days madhe hota tr obviously mi diwas bhar abhyas karat hoto....roj mla migrain cha pain ulat. but somehow mjha 2nd attempt first peksha chan gela. 

Ani toh diwas itka lucky hota mjha sathi....ki mjha center vr tu hotiss.....parat tula bghitlla...thodasa....pn te thoda pn khup hota....mi tujhya v4t ch hoto...apan tyach diwshi or next day bollo pn hoto. 

tevha toh asa hota conversation like tu aani mi maanlela hota ki apla samor khich nhi honar ahee....ani mi itka chutiya hoto....mla baki sarwa goshti mude he lakshat ch ala nhi ki mi effort karu shkto...tujha vishwas parat kamvayla....

at that time mi khup failure sarkha feel karat hoto karan exam satisfactory nhote jaat. Coaching che fees waste gelet...mjha jvd asa khich nhota jyani mi stable feel karel. aplya madhla fix karaila mjha kade confidence nhota....kontya tondani mhtl asta...! mla tula ani exam la balance nhi karta ala...

tya vedes jevha pn tujha sobat bolat hoto...radat hoto...khup miss karat hoto tula..aplya convesations laa...karan te aadhi sarkhe nhote rahat...

mg boards cha TT ala....tyacha madhe busy jhalo....mg toh cancel jhala

mg 3rd attempt cha abhyas suru...tya vedes thoda time hota...tr mi swatahala khup busy thevat hoto ani thoda chill karat hoto stressfree rahaysathi....

karan mhiti hota 3rd attempt itkya duration nantr honar hota...ani abhyasachi link tutli hoti...tr nhotach janar chan...ani nhich gelaa.......

mg last attempt chi hope ch sodli...ani ha madhat mjha VIT vellore cha jhala hota sarwa fix mi qualify jhalo hoto exam...ani mla ENTC branch midali hoti mayur la pn same tithech....pn thodya technical issue mude mjha miss jhala te.....bs te ek regret....nhi tr ata mi vellore , TN madh shikat asto....

mg CET hoti.....ani phkt 20 days baki...tevha abhyas suru kela...mi mayur aman sobat abhyas karat hoto

itke mistakes jhale hote jee cha vedes te sarwa lakshat theun abhyas karat hoto...ani ha ekch last chance hota mjha hatat...!

and see what....exam khup chan gela 90%ile midalet.....

Tevha itka relax jhalo hoto naa...mhnje itkya months pasn je stressfree mla nhota watat jya sathi effort karat hoto te midala.....

sarwa khup chan jaat hota....clgs bghnyat time ghalavala....cap round , admission process

jo clg phije hota toch midala...sarwa chan jaat hotaa....then i realize...ki mi tula almost gamavla aheee.

mjha sobat je hot hota te tula share nhi karu shkt hoto...karan toh bond aaplyat rahalch nhota.

yaa apan bolat tr hoto...pn like breakuped partnerss...!

pn te bolna ch mjha sathi imp watat hota....tevha mi bilkul v4 nhoto karat tula parat aayushyat aanyacha...mhnje te dokyat yetch nhota...itka satisfying rahat hota tujha bolna.

ani tula jevha sangitlaa ki mi punya la challo....tevha tu express kelela care + fear.....te wachun itka chan watla hota na....

te watla hota ki yup something is there...someone is there who feels for me.

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And bad phase begins offline clg suru jhalet.......

tu tujhya clg / clg bus madhle goshti sangaichiss.....khup jast jealous feel hot hota mlaaa...

pn kadhi watat hota ...nhi siddhi nhi janar dur.  but again tech jealous , insecure feeling.....

you cant imagine  mi aplya whole relation madhe kadhi jealous feel nhi kela hota...tujha sathi...coz i was sure tu phkt mjhich ahess..

pn tevha first time....mi tula dur hotanna bght hoto literally yrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!

7th April

apan bhetlo hoto tevhaaaa...Mjha jeevnatla sarwaaat massttttt diwass....

like mi first time itka ved ghalavla ...with the person i love the most....!!!!

mla kharch nhota jaicha tujha pasn durr,,,,tujha maage gadi vr basun phirna....my god,....i am blushing right now.....!

tya cafe madhe apan time spent kelaa....tevha phkt tulach bghavasa watat hota...i think counter vr baslela owner ...aplyala space dyayla baher gela hota....tevha tr tula tight hug karaichi ichhaa jhali hoti....pn himmat nhoti hot....! ani jevha apan split hot hota...jaat hoto ghari tevhaa bilkul ichha nhoti hot dur jaichi...! man nhi bharla mjhaa...tya diwshi....apla itka sweet relationship rahala ahe na....tri apan ekdacch bhetlo aho manasarkha...!

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bss tya nantrch cha na mi nhi bolun dkhau shkt.....tula pn mhiti ahe recently je jhala aplyaat....like mi zopat nhoto....tujha sobat tevha bolaycha vedes radat hoto..itka worst hot hota mjha sobat...jevha tu bolli...ki sarwa sampla ahe...you lose me aplyaat khich nhi hou shkt.....

sorry ....nhi bolu shkt jast ya topic vrrr...!

CONCLUSION 

ithe mi te bolnar...je mistakes jhalet aaple jya mude aplya madhla fade jhal hota!

talking about you....tu aadhi pasn ch na khup kami express karat hoti swatahala....mhje sarwa bolun nhich dkhvt hoti....mi v4 karat rahat hoto vishwas nhi ka ichaa mjha vrr ?

itka prashnat thevat hoti tu mlaa....

and tujha majha madhe je hot hota.....te obviously mjha lakshat nhota yet...pn tu te experience karat hotiss pn bolun nhi dkhvlaasss ki tu khup jast serious hot ahes mjha sathiiii

lack of conversation ...te nhi je apan bolat rahat hoto....actually te je tu feel karat hotis..!

Ani ata mjha bddl................................

mjha asa ahe ki jevha mla watate na ki hee vyakti mjha ayushyaat ahe...rahanar ahe...mi effort karna band karto..thinking ha person mla sodun kadhi janar nhi......

and actually mla thoda nantr realize jhala i was taking you so lightly.....our relationshipp......

yacha reason first paragraph madhe tu wachla hotaa....

mla khup jast guilt ahe ya goshticha tya vedes mla tula pn ved dyayla phije hota....!

mla nantr realize jhala ki yrr siddhi sarkha mla ayushyat kadhich konhi nhi midnarrr.....itka prem kela hotas tuu...! mi tujha sathi veda hoto , aho.

siddhi yrr khrch...lack of conversation mude naa...tu ani mi doghanni worst experience kela ahe !

siddhi mla tujha vishayi kadhi mhnje kadhich hate nhi ala aheee

kadhich tula swatahun dur karavasa nhi watla.

mi tujha khup jast respect karto. 

ani mla khup jast guilt ahe mjha mude tula hurt jhalyacha. 

mla tujha nantr kontyach muli bddl feelings nhi aalet. 

Too much girls around ...but they are not you !

mla tujha awaj aikla vr itka jannat sarkha feel hota na ata...tujhe photos...yrr jama ahet mjha kade...!

tujha awaj aika sathi tarsat aho mi....but you said no calls......ok no means no. 

I can do anything for your happiness.